What a freaking letdown.

I was all hyped up about subbing for my former choir teacher, Ms. Lanpher, for an entire month at my Alma Mater, Norwalk High, only to get a phone call two days before my assignment informing me that she’d been authorized to return to work already. Just wow.

My world’s flipped upside down and I’ve only paid half of my rent this month. I don’t have a full time assignment or even a long-term, my application at ABC Unified hasn’t been processed and there’s no way in hell I’m going to sub at Gompers Middle School.

I’m literally fully relying on my music career to help me make ends meet this month and I feel like I’m taking a giant leap of faith and acting as if everything is going to be ok when in reality, I have no idea.

Nevertheless, magnificent opportunities have been presenting themselves to show me that I’m capable of more than I believe.

I’ve been juggling this double life as a singing sub for too long, but if you were in my shoes, what would you do?

I’m single. My ex gives me $150 child support monthly. I take care of everything else. I have a dream and I refuse to give up on it. Things are picking up but not enough for me to abandon my day job completely.

I wish I was better prepared for this goal of making it as an artist but I feel like I’m always flying by the seat of my pants.

For years I haven’t been able to decide on whether or not to complete my teaching credential and I’ve waited so long if I’d only started years ago I wouldn’t still be on the fence about it… And I’d have more financial stability… Enough to not worry about bills and to have money to invest in my music.

Colin Kaepernick states, “ believe in something, even if it means sacrificing everything.”

Am I ready to sacrifice my teaching career to embrace my life fully as an artist?

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